I’m working on a song right now for my new album and I’ve encountered a problem. The song is coming to me. Its absolutely there. But because of the structure of the beat, the mood it captures, for me to write over it I know the kind of time it would take to make it perfect, make it beautiful, make it all that it could be. I’ve pushed myself for this Album, instituted deadlines, stretched myself so that I’m forced to become more.
And the inner ebb and flow of creation has felt that stretch and has navigated it well, adapted, and met the challenge, and through it I’ve found a truer voice in my art because I don’t have the time to over think, I don’t have the time to chisel and mold it perfectly into what I think it needs to be, what I think it could be, for my self or for other people, it just comes out pure, with a loose structure being the medium of the craft, and what not.
But now I have a beat I’m working with, an electronic beat. I hear what it could be, but it isn’t natural to me and I’m having to chisel myself into the shape of the beat. I’m perfectly capable of doing it, and I absolutely have the capacity to do a fantastic job of it, I’ve done it before. But the time it takes for me to chisel and form, distort my natural form and mold it into a medium that isn’t my natural state is sucking the hours out of my day and stifling the free flowing thoughts I had been capitalizing on. This process is an extremely valuable lesson for me, It’s helped crystallize the premise behind why I’ve been creating as I have been: daily, before I came to this last week finishing up the ‘Album’And now I’m aware of the danger of the pitfall of perfection I’ve tripped into that I’ll be sure to watch out for now in the future, but fuck me its sucking up a lot of time that could be going into more fruitful work for this album. But I have to make this song, I made the commitment to the producer, and I need to finish it. I know its not going to be as good could as I could make it, but I have to move. I have to move and I feel bad about it because the beat has so much potential, and this gem the artist Apoxia created, I could shine it to brilliance. But it’s going to have to do with being at 80% of its potential.